From the heart

stephanie howell has a challenge on her blog.  I have found that I tend to do this on a pretty daily basis.  It floors me when people comment b/c I am not expecting it.  I put this "out there" for me, nothing more.

1.  I am so tired of this being apart from Dusty.  I am so very thankful for the job that he has that he is home.  I can't understand how solider wives do it.  (And to think at one point I thought I was destine to the military life, it is what I knew.)  I want him home so bad.  And why?  To sleep next to him.  For pillow talk.  It is what I miss most, just talking to him.  Just telling him all about my day.

2. B is going to make some lady so stinking happy.  Every night in order to "stay" up later he says, "Let's talk about our day."  He then proceeds to tell me all about his day.  What he did. What he ate.  Who he played with.  Where he went.  Then I kiss him good night and he says "You not leave.  You not tell me about your day."  He is very put out if I do not have "lots" of details.

3. I can't wait for the middle of October when I am going to "run" away for two days.  And where am I running to.  I don't know.  Who am I running with?  Some very incredible women that God has placed in my life to help me through this difficult time.  These women inspire me.  They lift me up.  They encourage me.  Life should be filled with women like this for everyone.

4.  I still have days when I don't feel like I am enough.  Lots of days.  I am not enough for me.  For Charlie.  For Brantley.  For Dusty.  For the kids in my class.  I am just not enough.  Why does this have to be a battle for me?  Why can't I just remember at all time that I am God's and he thinks I am worth the sacrifice?  Why can't I just look at the good in me and see it?  Why do I always compare myself to others?

5.  I want to pray better.  (Again, I am comparing myself.)  I want to feel like my prayers are beautiful and pleasing to God.  So much I feel that they are just out of desperation.  "Help Me"  seems to be a normal one now.  I want to be able to pray like David.  I want to sing songs of praise that makes God say "this is a woman after my own heart."

6.  All I can think about is my scrapbook room.  I scrap booked, I mean really scrap booked last weekend.  And all I can seem to do is jot down ideas: sketches, colors, titles, sayings.  I am so afraid that when I finally do get back out there that I will no longer have the desire.

7.  I love fall foods!  We had pumpkin french toast and acorn squash.  Now, I just want a big batch of potato soup or bowl of Chili.  I LOVE fall!

8.  And really, this one trumps them ALL!  As I was making dinner tonight I watched as my 6 year old traipsed outside with her Bible, a notebook, and pen.  She sat in my deck chair.  Her three year old brother came out and kept pestering her.  "Mom!  I'm trying to talk to God and my brother won't leave me alone!"  In steps "the Mommy." "B, I said.  Why are you bothering your sister?"  "I want to be with her.  I love her so much."  "Well B sissy is talking to God right now.  If you want to be with her why don't you go get your Bible and talk to God with her."  He screeches with a huge smile, "That's a good idea."  Ten minutes later (we had to find a notebook and pencil for him as well.).  Both of my kids are sitting on the back porch talking to God.  

 So, I did what any good "scrapbooking" mom does and captured this heart moment on film!

 From every angle possible!

 I love this one.  It I have a thing for feet and hands.  How great is that to see feet, hands, and God's word!  It just takes my breath away.

This one is the one that captures what I LOVE best.  The "picture" out my back window.  This would be an image that I would want an illustrated to paint (changing the backdrop to look a little less cluttered and messy of course!).

So, will you take Stephanie's challenge and blog your heart?