Living Life, Grief, and Change

This has been a hard week.  Dusty's Uncle Dwain died early Monday morning.  As with any death, it has been difficult but this one especially so.  Dusty spent a lot of time with this incredible man.

I searched and searched and I can not find a photo of the two of them together over the last fifteen  years.  That is how long I have know this family.  Fifteen years.  And It is and with forever be the "stories" that keep people and places alive.  It will forever be the stories that we must continue to tell.  

Who was the man?  To me he was the man who always did.  Why can't I find but only 4 pictures of him in 15 years?  Because he was NEVER still.  He was always moving and doing.  He saw something that needed to be done and he did it,  a trash bag that needed to be emptied,  a hay ride that needed to be pulled, a guest that needed to be welcomed.  He was never still.  The only pictures I have are the ones that are of him eating.  This makes me laugh.  This is one of my favorite of the four I found because it also shows a subtle part of his personality.  He LOVED to laugh and play jokes.  I have an old tractor disk (I think) on my front porch from one of the first times when I went to the farm by myself.  He said "Amy,  Dusty needs this.  Can you get it to him for me?"  I having no clue what it was or who Dwain really was at the time said yes.  And now,  15 plus years later I still have it.  No matter how many "junk" days come by we still keep it because it was that silly gift and it reminds me of who he is.  The funny thing,  Dusty does the SAME thing.  Anyone new that comes to the house walks away with "something" because someone needed or wanted it.  It makes me smile.  

And then as I look through pictures and think of stories I think of how much my kids don't know.  And why?  Because I have not taken the time to tell them. I need to take the time to tell them stories of the family as well as stories of the LORD.  

 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuternony 6:5-7 

 I miss the "old" days, the days gone by, the days gone past.  I miss those times of hanging out at the farm.  I miss the summer of "laser tag" with the cousins.  I miss the 4th of July's.  I miss the Christmases all together. I know that life is an ebb and flow. I know that is what God set it up to be.  He shows us this with the seasons.  The seasons change.  The people who are prominent in our lives change.   The boys of harvest grow up and have kids and jobs and homes of their own and they are no longer "boys of harvest".  But they always will be.  But it is my job to make sure those "stories" get told.  It is my job to document those little moments that I don't want to forget. It is my job to make sure that those moments are the ones that count so that years from now,  I, we, they, can look at the moments and see that in everything we lived a life worthy of the Lord.  And that we LIVED truly lived life.  And that the life that we lived was not just us but that others were there for the journey.  That those that went with us had names, faces and stories.  The names, faces, and places may change but we were not alone in this journey of life.  

so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 

Colossians 1:10

Letting Go and Letting God

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I truly let go?  I wonder if there will ever be a moment in time where my voiced faith is my actual heart felt faith and not just my mouth trying to convince my brain to obey.  I am one of those "control" freaks.  I love to help others.  But I hate to let others know that I am not doing okay.  I am working on that.  Well,  July 2012 has been another crazy "Hey Amy, I am not done teaching you to let me have control time."

 I am like most women.  I am like most mothers.  I let my own health be the last thing that takes priority.  Part of it is time.  Part of it is laziness. And part of it I blame on my mom.  Not in a  bad way. (I will explain this later). 

So, Let's start with the "planned" of this summer.  In 2006, I discovered a cyst on my right wrist. In fall of 2007, Dusty and I decided that I would have surgery in summer of 2008.  Well, we got pregnant with Brantley and there just never seemed to be a good time.  This past May, I really started having some issues with the cyst, so this summer was the summer to have it removed.  Knowing that "MOM" is going to be down for a few weeks is always hard.  It is very difficult to plan that.  There never seems to be  good time.  The week of July 4th seemed to be as good as any.  So, July 2nd I had my surgery.  Everything went great. 

Until on the next day, Dusty headed to work on his scooter without his helmet.  His back tire blew out and down he went.  Now, here is the kicker.  I am a safety girl.  Notice that he was NOT wearing his helmet.  This was a stipulation of getting the said scooter.  So,  I was VERY mad (I think there is still a little bit of me that is still angry but I am working on that).  Dusty was taken from the scene in the ambulance to OU trauma.  They thought he had a skull fracture.  He had major abrasions down his right arm on his right hand his left foot, his right toe,  a huge bruise on his butt, and two staples in his head.  He had a concussion but no skull fracture.  In the grand scheme of motorcycle wrecks God protected Dusty.  The kids stayed with Dusty's parents for a few days.  People from church provided meals for about five days even though I really did not think we needed them (we did). I wasn't thinking about having to clean up the kitchen after cooking.  Neither one of us could have done that over the weekend. 

Then on Sunday, the kids came home and Dusty went with the guys from work camping.  Me.  I should have been doing fine.  My kids were home.  My husband was alive and safe.  I was fuming. I  was so mad. I could not even see straight.  And on top of that I could not sleep.  Well that is okay, because this is not the end of God's lesson.  While Dusty was away I found something. Something that stopped me dead in my tracks. 

I found a lump on my left breast.  Here I was thinking about my idiot husband who could not be "bothered" enough to think about his family and wear his helmet off repelling with his buddies while having a concussion.  How could I trust that he would keep my kids safe?  My husband who is slowly beginning to show his faith.  My husband who I love dearly but am still so incredibly mad at. And I find a lump.  Now let me tell you a little bit about my personality.  I am not Chicken Little.  I do not think that the Sky is falling. I think that I can survive the Sky falling I know that God will get me through it and that I have the strength and the tenacity to do it but I also plan for the fact that when the sky falls the entire world will be completely and utterly destroyed.  Yes folks, I am a pessimist. 

So, I prepared for the worst.  I began worrying about my children.  What was I going to do when I died and my children had no one to pray for them?  See I knew that Dusty would get them to school. Dusty would love them.  He might remember to make them do their homework. He might remember to have them put on their seatbelt (bike helmelts I was not so sure).  But reading hte Bible, praying iwth them...that was where I was worried.  That is what I did.  He did not do those things.  I knew he would take them to church. I knew he would make sure that they went to Awana.  But would he read the Bible with them?  Would he pray with them?  Would he talk about God the way I do?  Who would keep my family focuses on God when I was not there?

See what I mean...My world was falling apart!  Dusty was back from his trip.  I and sat quite not sharing my nightmare (he was not happy when I finally did).  But God took care of me like he always does.  A friend just happened to drop a book off at my house.  She had no idea how much I truly needed the words inside the pages.  Thank you God that she listened to your still small voice that prompted her to drop it off.  Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

These are the Words I heard over the next few days...in the wee hours of the night when I could not sleep.  I love how God keeps me awake till 4 am when there is no noise and I can find no other distractions but him.

"Stop worrying long enough to hear my voice."

Deuteronomy 30:20
and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life,

"Sit Quitely in my presence."

"I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you."

John 15:13  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

"Worship me only.  The Light of my Presence is brilliant and everlasting. "

2 Samuel 22:29
You are my lamp, O Lord;
    the Lord turns my darkness into light.

"Whenever you feel distant from me, whisper my Name "Jesus" in loving trust"

John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

"Fix your gaze on me.

"Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparking surpirses just around the bend."

"DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW! This is not a suggestion, but a command.   When you worry about the future, you heap day upon day of troubles onto your flimsy frame. My grace is sufficient for you."

"Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of My Presence shinning down on you."

"Come away with me for awhile."

And so I have. I have come away with Him. I have spent a good two weeks in His word.

I have been to countless doctors. I called my OB on Monday after finding the lump.  They had an appointment first thing on Wednesday morning.  I went to that appointment.  While there I just kind of fell apart.  I told her about all my worries.  I have been very short tempered with my kids.  (She switched my anxiety meds that my regular doctor put me on in December.)   We talked about my fear of skin cancer with a few freckles looking different then they have in years past.  She put those fears to rest and gave me referrals for a dermatologist for that.  We talked about my constant headaches. How long have the been happening.  Well, I thought they were stress due to everything from last year and depression but they are still not going away so maybe a year.  Yes, dear readers you read that right. I have been having headaches/migraines almost every day for over a year and have done nothing about it.  Why?  Two reasons  1- My mother has severe migraines and for years I have watched her work with headaches. I understand that my situation is different but I feel silly going to the doctor knowing that she does not.  2-Who has the time to be sick when it is just a headache and I can still work?

So, she sent me to a neurologist.  I am not on meds for my headaches.  Because of my family history I am to treat all headaches as migraines.  In about a week I should see a difference. I am already seeing a little release.  I did not have a headache today until around 3. I did not realize how incredible it is to go through a day without your head not hurting. 

She also sent me to have a mammogram and ultrasound done.  Dusty took off work and came with me.  For the first time in my life I was glad to hear that I am "fat." It made my mammogram easy to read and it was negative.  Everything is okay.  There is nothing to worry about.

We had a long heart to heart talk.  He was mad at me. (And he had every right to be)  I am not to leave him out of something like that.  He also blew me away.  We talked.  I mean really talked.  He asked if his wreck was a good thing. I, of course, said no.  He said yes.  Yes, because it made someone go buy a helmet. He said that "everything that happens happens for good.  We may not know what that good is but it happens for good to come of it."  Without knowing it, my husband was quoting scripture.  
Romans 8:28
[ More Than Conquerors ] And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
 We talked about what would happened if something did happened to me.  He promised to make sure to read the Bible with the kids, to pray with the kids, to talk about God more instead of just leaving it up to me. 

So, once again, I am stepping out in faith.  I feel that God is pushing. No, not pushing but shoving me out of my comfort zone. I feel like he is calling me to lead a bible study called A Mom After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George at church this fall.  If you happen to think about it over the next few months, pray that God will continue to give the courage to follow his voice. That he will continue to keep me awake into the wee hours of the morning to hear his voice when all else is quiet.

My cup is running over!

I love how God answers prayers.  If you know me for any amount of time I will tell you about my husband.  And, I will tell you about how I KNEW without a doubt that I was going to marry him.  And, if you listen for any amount of time you will hear how amazing he is and how he still is not "everything" I want him to be.  You will hear that he is a Christian but there has not been any discipleship in him.  You might hear how he goes to church but that is about it.  You might hear how I have and continue to pray for him to become the spiritual leader of my home.  From this point forward I am going to change my discussion about him.  I am going to say that he is becoming the spiritual leader in my home.  Let me tell you about last night.

Yesterday we brought C home from school because she wasn't feeling good.  I had a stomach bug last week so we thought she had just caught that.  Around 9pm we realized that she had strep.  D rushed to the after hours clinic to get the diagnosis and meds she needed.  D put her to bed.  He does this often but usually it is "Go to bed." with a kiss, hug and tuck.  Tonight was different.  "Alright let's pray."  I know this might sound silly to someone else but it sent me to cloud nine.

I listen from the other room while I put away laundry.  I held my tears in check and I prayed silently.  I thanked God for his faithfulness to bring Dusty along.  I thanked him that my children have the kind of man that Dusty is and is becoming as a father.  I praised God for all the many little tiny blessings that he gives me each and every day in the person of my family.  I thanked God that Dusty was trying to speak my love language.  I thanked God that he gave me eyes to see when Dusty was truly trying to let me know he loves me.  And as I prayed I put laundry away.

I had kneeled down next to my bed to put a comforter in a suitcase under the bed.  Dusty walked around me.  He kneeled down beside me. He smiled at me.  He folded his hands.  "Want to pray?"

He took my breath away!  Really.  You are asking me this.  Do you not remember a year ago January when I had a melt down and told you that "someday"  I wanted you to pray with me?  Do you not remember that same conversation where I told you that I would continue to pray this and that God answered prayers?  Do you remember that I told you that I would pray this until I got an answer and beyond?

I smiled.  "Go for it."  I said.

And he did!!

"Thank you for today.  It was a beautiful day.  Thank you for giving me Amy 11 years ago.  Thank you for knowing that she is just what I needed.  Thank you for the two amazing children she has given me.  Thank you for my new job that allows me to go to church with my family.  Thank you for bible study.  Thank you for friends.  I know Amy has been praying for them.  They are exactly what we have needed. In Jesus name."

He left it open for me to pray.

"Amen"

"Are you not going to pray?"  I shook my head.  How could I?  I was crying.  I don't know that I could have prayed out loud.  I don't know that I could have gotten out more than thank you lord.

"Happy tears?"

Happy tears are an understatement.  What I was crying was beyond happy tears!

It has been  a long couple of years.  Long but in a good way!  We have recently begun going to bible study together.  (yes,  another answered prayer.) It is not what most people think about "bible study" at the moment.  It might be some day but right now we are just easing into getting to know our group and building on fellowship.

Bible study has been good for us.  We have been to one session.  This last week the couple that shared gave us a little "get to know you" information.  We are in the get to know you part before we actually start a study.  I can't wait to know  a little more about each family.  One of the things they shared was their "family" life verse.  Roman 4:20...

Dusty and I talked at bedtime that night.  Mainly about what he might be comfortable with.  The conversation went something like this...

"At some point would you be okay if we did something like they did tonight?"  This is me feeling D out.

"Talking about myself.  Yeah we can do that.  I don't know that I would be okay leading a devotion but I don't mind if you do."  This is kind of a normal for us.  The two times he has been able to lead something he has been amazing, but I know it is NOT his comfort zone.

But then I got to thinking.  I have a verse that "I" think is our families verse.  Well, let me rephrase that I have a verse that I pray for our family.  But, is it something that I (we) have discussed.  Well, that is different altogether.  No we have not.  So I asked.

"Do you think we will every agree on a verse like they do?"

We talked about the two verses that I made him help me pick out when the kids were born.  I wanted them each to have a verse.  He asked if I had any verses in mind.  I read him the verse that I have been praying for about 6 months.

So I told him that I have been praying Colossians 1:9-12 for each of those in our family.

"We (I) have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding and I pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the LORD and may please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."

We talked a little more before falling asleep.  No decisions have been made.  I am learning that is okay. God's timing is perfect and until we have an agreed upon verse I will continue to pray that my family live a life worthy of the LORD growing in the knowledge of God.

Dusty doesn't read this.  But, if by some weird chance he does.  At least now you are forewarned that at some point in the future we will agree on a "family" verse.
 

I love my husband!

Dusty and I were married 10 years ago March 24th.  I know, it is crazy how fast time goes by. It doesn't feel like 10 years and yet it feels like forever (in a good way).  Last year I told him that for our 10th anniversary I wanted to go away with him somewhere. I did not care where or what we did.  I just wanted to get away with him.  And, I got girlie.  I say that to say this.  Yes, I am a girl but I do not like to shop.  I hate shoes and I don't wear jewelry.  For three weeks prior to our trip I went shopping I can't tell you how many times.  I bought 4 new outfits (2 of which are dresses) a pair of shoes and JEWELRY!  It is so not like me.  Everything I bought is not my "typical" style.
So, he surprised me.  We went to Guthrie, Oklahoma.   
We started out the trip with a visit to the Publishing Museum.

 This sign has been "wrong" for over 100 years.  I just loved these doors.

And these stairs!  I have always wanted stairs like this in my home.  I live in a one story house.  I don't think that will happen any time soon.

After leaving here we rode their trolly tour.  That was neat.  It turns out that D and I have something in common.  We love to hear about  and look at old homes.  Crazy.  I thought he did this for me.  Nope, he says he likes it too.

 We went by the drug store museum.  I didn't take any pictures b/c I found a few post cards that were PERFECT.  The gardens were really neat. I found a bottle of "chill" pills that were sold in the early 1800's.  I found that kind of funny.  
Ate lunch at a bbq place. YUM!   Then went to the Territorial Museum.
I am a history lover so these kinds of things are loads of fun.  I loved this fireplace.  This was the dress of the first lady of Oklahoma.  BEAUTIFUL! And you can tell by the dress that she was not skinny!  I just thought that was funny.

This might be an interesting read:  True Politeness A Handbook for Ladies .

D is looking a the craftsmanship of the early house.

 This shirt is one of the items I bought.  It is a tank top that is nothing but lace and fancy girly stuff.  I loved it but it is not something that I would normally wear and definitely to school.  10 years and we are happier now than back in 2001.  There have been some bumps but life would not be blessed if we did not have the hardships to remind us of the blessings!

We stayed in the upstairs suite of the Red Brick and Roses.  AMAZING! Normally I am cheap but it was so worth it.   

 

 We fell in LOVE with this tree outside the bed and breakfast.  It was the PERFECT climbing tree and it had lots of neat places for animals to hide.  We took the picture to show the kids b/c they too would find it neat.

 On Sunday we went shopping downtown.  I felt like an old couple.  We walked around holding hands.  A perfect weekend.

Happy Ground hog's day!

I have this incredible husband.  But, he is a little silly.  His second favorite holiday is Groundhogs day.  Why?  I have no idea.  This year we were blessed with a snow day.  He and C got up at 5:00 to watch Phil.  I had so much fun making these for breakfast.  You can find them here.

 This our picture of the day for today.

 And here this silly man is having a conversation with his ground hog about the weather.

The kids took turns talking to their ground hog as well.  We were laughing for a good 10 minutes over the weather reports from the silly donut hole ground hogs.  I LOVE this man!!!

Mother vs Father

I was going to get better about blogging when it was new.  That did not happen.  Maybe that can be a resolution.  Dusty the kids and I were eating our lunch "as a family."  This is very hard to do with our work schedule so we only fit it in a couple times a week.  Charlie attempts to catapult a piece of ham across the table.






I, the mother, begin my "lecture" about proper table manners.  Dusty pops up with a science lesson.  "Charlie, in order to have a catapult that works you need to have a fulcrum."


I asked the kids (and D) to wait until lunch was finished and then I would give them an entire bag of marshmallows to practice with.  Here, D is instructing B how to hold his mouth in order to catch the flying marshmallow.


The fun followed!   As did 35 minutes and many, many marshmallows that flew across our dining room.  :)

More Mud

I had a class Wednesday. When I called Dusty at lunch time to ask him a question he told me about his "mistake." "Honey, I sent the kids in the back yard." My first thought was "has the mud hole dried up." But I did not say anything but oh. There clothes are ruined but they are having a great time. I didn't realize it was muddy. My husband is very smart but not when it comes to long term planning. He just doesn't think about the future. We have an area in our back yard that is all dirt b/c the kids dig in it. I am okay with this but I have to remind myself of such hole when it rains. And it has been raining here a lot. Which is why I have not let the kids out. I don't want to clean up the mess. Doesn't this guy just look like a clay statue?




And this one here. He is taking a bath, a mud bath.


In this one you can see the mud dripping off of Charlie's skirt. And, that she is ankle deep in the mud. I don't think this mud hole will dry up anytime soon.


But this is the one that just makes me laugh. B is giving Charlie a bath. He is trying to wash her will mud. How funny is that? The best part about this story is this: My amazing husband took pictures, gave the kids a bath, mopped the floors, and cleaned the bathtub. Who cares that their clothes are still sitting on the back porch. I don't know that I could get them clean anyway.

Sweet husband!

Last night was a "normal" date night. Dinner and a play. Only, Dusty has a friend that comes into the Olive Garden. He wanted to "do something special" for Dusty so he gave him a Limousine for four hours. Who does stuff like that? We had a really nice driver named Carl to help us out for the evening. Carl picked us up at 6pm. He has Dr. Pepper chilling in the cooler and drove us to the Iguana Lounge. We split an appetizer for dinner. We had a mini taco plate: Chicken, fish, and beef. We also had the BEST salsa in the world. We ate two bowls while waiting for our tacos. Then we went to Carpenter Square Theater for a play. (Really we went to the Civic Center b/c CST flooded the first of June. Afterwards we came home. A great evening of fun.

father's day (yes, late)

We went to Dusty's parents for Father's Day. We had a wonderful meal. Dusty wanted to go "shooting" with his dad. It's got to be a boy thing. I just don't get the "fun" of taking a gun and shooting a roll of toilet paper. While the guys were shooting him mom, the kids, and I were in the front room visiting. We did not clear the table from dinner.



We found a sweet little monster who helped himself to the bowl of cool whip.





I just LOVE this cheesy grin.

Sound Garden

I don't know if I have told you before, but I have an amazing husband. Why is he so amazing, you ask. Because he humors me. I love this blog by Teacher Tom (a preschool teacher in Washington). Most days I just think what he does is really cool. But some days...

I just have to try out his stuff. He posted about a sound garden. I loved it. So, we made one.

Isn't he great! He made this great sound garden with the kids. Thanks honey. You are the Greatest!!

faithsisters

I had a blast with this weeks theme. "Finding your true love" I love our "story." Or maybe I just love HIM! I attempted flowers. I did not do them correctly studio calico but I love how they turned out. Maybe my next layout with have the flowers done correctly. :) Here is the journaling for this one:
Often you ask a girl and a guy the same question and you’ll get two completely different answers. This is true for “Our Story”
Amy--
It all began New Years Eve, 1998 (going into 1999). I had seen Dusty a few times. We were both attendee’s of the girls (Norma, Julie, Jodi) parties. But, it wasn’t until New Years that I began to wonder. It was yet another party at the girls house. This was no different then the other. We, me and who ever else, were sitting in the living room. It was very crowded and there were people everywhere. I was sitting on the arm of the couch. This goofy guy, Dusty, was sitting next to me on the couch. He pulled me into his lap. It took me forever to figure out how to get myself off his lap. So, for the next five months I over analyzed why he did it. Did he like me? Did he not? Why did he pull me into his lap?
Dusty--
So her story starts at New Years. That’s a guy for you. His, not so much. She analyzed why I pulled her into my lap--I just thought it would be funny.
Amy--
So, I analyzed and he didn’t think twice about that night. So, fast forward five months to May. Julie is moving out of “the house” and moving to Tulsa. She needed help. Memorial Day weekend--Saturday we (Me, Jodi, Norma, Dusty, & others) moved her stuff to Tulsa.
Dusty--“You want to ride with me?”
Amy--”Sure.” Jodi was not happy. She did not like Dusty. She thought he was a big fake. So, I rode to Tulsa and back with Dusty. We talked. I don’t know what about. We just talked. ON the way back, I told Dusty to buckle his seat belt. He didn’t. He got stopped by a Policeman and got a ticket. (See I told you to wear your seatbelt.) When we got back to the girls house, he gave me his number and told me to call him. That was late Saturday night. It took me until noon on MOnday to get up the nerve to call.
We talked for hours over the next week. Yes, I said hours. On the 13th of June he helped me move out of Annie and Billy’s. We stopped by Sonic & Jordy’s T-ball game. He calls this our first date. (We ate. I paid. We saw went to some kind of entertainment.) Again, you see the difference in men and women. I don’t consider it a date because he didn’t ask me out. I consider our first date when I went to his apartment to watch Blue’s Brothers. Drew ended up stopping by and watching the movie with us. Drew helped me to relax. I can’t believe that I went from talking to this guy, dating him three weeks later and in seven months we were engaged.
I guess I forgot to post the last two pages I did for faithsisters.
The first one is your first spiritual moment. If you want to read the journaling you'll find it here.

This one was teen years. It has been a really busy month so I missed several of these layouts that I am hoping to get caught up with over the summer. If you are interested in the journaling you can find it here. I know it seems silly but the journaling is really long on all three layouts.

Prayers answered

I have always wanted a husband who was a spiritual leader in my home. I have a great husband. One chosen by God just for me and yet he does not qualify as the spiritual leader in my home. I have been praying and praying and praying that one day my husband will initiate (and say the words) to pray with me. Last night was that night. We have had a very hard three days of parenting. At 1:30 in the morning after finding out that Charlie had cut her hair again, I asked if he wanted to talk about it tonight or wait. He took my hands and prayed for God's guidance and for strength and patience in parenting. He prayed that we would be good enough parents to lead our children to him. I am on cloud nine. Praise God. I am so full. Thank you God for answering the prayers of the faithful. Thank you for being such an amazing God that you give more than requested. That you answer prayers!

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

And Amy Dawn cried...

Dusty uses this line from Varsity Blues quite often. Tonight was one of those nights. Dusty is a huge, I mean HUGE groundhogs day fans. It is his favorite holiday. Over Christmas I heard that Build a Bear has a ground hog for Groundhogs day. I was so excited. So, I went to look at it. They told me that it doesn't come in until the middle of January. So, I waited. Yesterday, I was so stinking excited. I surprised D made him pick me and kids up at school and take me to the mall for a super cool surprise. We get to build a bear and guess what. No groundhog. Yes, you read that right they did not have a ground hog but I could check on the internet and they could send it to me. Dusty (the wonderful man that he is) says honey it's fine. It is the thought that counts and besides, it saves money. I am the practical one. I always give practical gifts. I would never give something like a stuffed groundhog b/c really who needs another stuffed animal in their house. So, I cried.

Always behind....

The kids got a great swingset for Christmas from Dusty's parents. They have asked to go outside everyday since to swing.
Charlie wanted to get Dusty one thing for Christmas, a superman cape. Let me rephrase that, she wanted me to make him a supreman cape. So that is what I did. And, it is just what a 34 year old man wants...a superman cape. He was great posing. In one of the pictures he has Charlie trying to blow his cape to show that he is flying. Those two are just so silly. And I love them to pieces.

My answered Prayers

I usually write about Charlie and sometimes Brantley (I think this will be more when he learns how to talk). But today I need to write about my husband. He was an answered pray. I prayed long and hard for many years that I would find a man that was an amazing father. And I have one in spades!! I just felt very "drawn" to document some of my husbands wonderful qualities. Sunday night B woke up with a fever in the middle of the night. For the last few days he had been sticking his fingers in his ear when he got out of the shower. So, Monday morning rolled around and Dusty called saying he was running 103.4 and they had just gotten home from shopping. He gave him some Mortin and put him to nap. We called the Pediatrician. They one appointment it was 11 am on Tuesday. There was no way to get him to the dr and Charlie picked up from school so we took B to the after-hours clinic. We were in and out in 45 minutes. How is that for fast? He had an ear infection. He is almost 17 months and this is the first time we have had to take him to the dr for anything but shots or well baby. So once we got home and the kids to bed I started working on report cards. Dusty, wonderful man that he is, brought me my very favorite hot chocolate French Vanilla. It is a tad expensive for my taste so I never buy it. He sets it down in front of me and says "I knew you would be busy tonight." (Reason 1) So when I got home Tuesday from school (Reason 2) my house was spotless. He picked up B's mess, mopped the floors and cleaned the kitchen. He also had dinner on the table (Nachos). Then he helped put the kids to bed so that I could finish report cards. Wednesday when he and the kids got to SJN Charlie was complaining of her head hurting and not feeling good. She looked very pale and was very warm. I went straight home. (Reason 3) Dusty was late to work so that I could have five minutes to gather all my stuff and he put the kids in the car. Charlie threw up b/f we were even 1/4 mile away from the school. She threw up one more time that evening and ran a fever into the next day. Wednesday night on his way home from work he stopped at the store to pick up a few "sick" necessities. (I remember my grandmother always having these on hand. My kids never get sick, so I never have them) (Reason 4) He also came home with "sick" toys. Anytime Charlie is sick he brings her something. So, he had a puppy for Charlie (She named him shorts. How cute is that?) and a frog for B. (Reason 5) He slept in the chair so that I could get a little bit of sleep for school the next day. He decided he was going to call in the next day b/c she was sick. (Who does that?) He wants to be with the kids when they are sick. He is such a great dad. I am the one that never takes off b/c Dusty is here with them and there is no need for two of us to be here. There are some days when I feel like a horrible mom for that but I also am the work-a-holic in our family. He ended up going to work b/c school was canceled. We were out of power. (Reason 6) He puts the kids coats in the dryer so that they will be warm before going outside like an electric blanket (Charlie is obsessed with them right now.) (Reason 7) He brought snacks today for the kids and me b/c he couldn't remember what our schedule was. He thought maybe we would like to get a special snack. I am just overwhelmed on a daily basis by how blessed I am to have a wonderful man in my life. Thank you God for answering my prayers beyond my wildest dreams. I love you. Dusty.

Dusty and food

Dusty is so great. He made Charlie's plate smile at her. He also made the Indian Corn rice krispy treats for me. He made Nachos. He is so great!

Halloween 2

I don't often blog about Dusty. I should. He is a great husband. This is one thing that we disagree on. I hate Halloween. I just really don't like anything about it except the ability to "dress up." He loves it. It is his favorite holiday. He loves scary stuff. Can't you tell? this is our front yard. He works so hard on it. He is very proud of it. Charlie loves it as well. I hate it! But there is very few stuff that Dusty truly enjoys. So this is one of those things that I just grin and go on wishing that it were different. Dusty and the kids have a great time setting up his "super scary" grave yard.