From the heart

stephanie howell has a challenge on her blog.  I have found that I tend to do this on a pretty daily basis.  It floors me when people comment b/c I am not expecting it.  I put this "out there" for me, nothing more.

1.  I am so tired of this being apart from Dusty.  I am so very thankful for the job that he has that he is home.  I can't understand how solider wives do it.  (And to think at one point I thought I was destine to the military life, it is what I knew.)  I want him home so bad.  And why?  To sleep next to him.  For pillow talk.  It is what I miss most, just talking to him.  Just telling him all about my day.

2. B is going to make some lady so stinking happy.  Every night in order to "stay" up later he says, "Let's talk about our day."  He then proceeds to tell me all about his day.  What he did. What he ate.  Who he played with.  Where he went.  Then I kiss him good night and he says "You not leave.  You not tell me about your day."  He is very put out if I do not have "lots" of details.

3. I can't wait for the middle of October when I am going to "run" away for two days.  And where am I running to.  I don't know.  Who am I running with?  Some very incredible women that God has placed in my life to help me through this difficult time.  These women inspire me.  They lift me up.  They encourage me.  Life should be filled with women like this for everyone.

4.  I still have days when I don't feel like I am enough.  Lots of days.  I am not enough for me.  For Charlie.  For Brantley.  For Dusty.  For the kids in my class.  I am just not enough.  Why does this have to be a battle for me?  Why can't I just remember at all time that I am God's and he thinks I am worth the sacrifice?  Why can't I just look at the good in me and see it?  Why do I always compare myself to others?

5.  I want to pray better.  (Again, I am comparing myself.)  I want to feel like my prayers are beautiful and pleasing to God.  So much I feel that they are just out of desperation.  "Help Me"  seems to be a normal one now.  I want to be able to pray like David.  I want to sing songs of praise that makes God say "this is a woman after my own heart."

6.  All I can think about is my scrapbook room.  I scrap booked, I mean really scrap booked last weekend.  And all I can seem to do is jot down ideas: sketches, colors, titles, sayings.  I am so afraid that when I finally do get back out there that I will no longer have the desire.

7.  I love fall foods!  We had pumpkin french toast and acorn squash.  Now, I just want a big batch of potato soup or bowl of Chili.  I LOVE fall!

8.  And really, this one trumps them ALL!  As I was making dinner tonight I watched as my 6 year old traipsed outside with her Bible, a notebook, and pen.  She sat in my deck chair.  Her three year old brother came out and kept pestering her.  "Mom!  I'm trying to talk to God and my brother won't leave me alone!"  In steps "the Mommy." "B, I said.  Why are you bothering your sister?"  "I want to be with her.  I love her so much."  "Well B sissy is talking to God right now.  If you want to be with her why don't you go get your Bible and talk to God with her."  He screeches with a huge smile, "That's a good idea."  Ten minutes later (we had to find a notebook and pencil for him as well.).  Both of my kids are sitting on the back porch talking to God.  

 So, I did what any good "scrapbooking" mom does and captured this heart moment on film!

 From every angle possible!

 I love this one.  It I have a thing for feet and hands.  How great is that to see feet, hands, and God's word!  It just takes my breath away.

This one is the one that captures what I LOVE best.  The "picture" out my back window.  This would be an image that I would want an illustrated to paint (changing the backdrop to look a little less cluttered and messy of course!).

So, will you take Stephanie's challenge and blog your heart?

My life in song

A very dear friend of mine posted about the music in her life.  I was inspired.  My list is SO different.
4th grade-Madonna I loved everything Madonna.

 6th grade -  I'll be there for you by Bon Jovi

7th grade:  Friends by Michael W. Smith

8th grade:  When I see you smile by Bad English

Oh, this was the year of true crushes.

 

9th grade:  There are two songs that make me think of this year.  

This was the first year I sang a solo in church.  

Because he lives

 

She's in love with the boy by Trisha Yearwood

10th grade:  

I use to love this song but after this year it means so much more to me.  10th grade was a really tough year.  It was the year that I began to learn that beauty is not up to the "world" but up to God.  It was the year I began a lesson that would take me many, many years to learn.  I am beautiful to God.  No one else matters.  

11th grade:  Stay by Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

 

12th grade:  I loved Aerosmith.  I mean loved them.  But, living in the boondocks we did not have cable.  Which meant I had not seen a music video at all.  I loved Aerosmith for two reasons.  I loved the music and my mom liked them when she was in high school.  I always thought that was really neat.  

OBU College: 

Jars of Clay (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them!) Love song for a savior.  Looking back, I see this as a song about me.  I do feel that the last few years have been spent with me falling down and crying out that I want to fall in love with my savior over and over again.

 

late college:  

Bare naked ladies "One week" 

1999:  Skip Ewing "Rebecca Lynn"  I met Skip Ewing at the Ramada Plaza Hotel.  She was part of the Reba McIntire rodeo entertainment one year.  I was working front desk night audit.  He sat in the lobby and played for a couple hours after he got back from the Lazy E.  It was my own private concert.  

2001:  Sometime in the summer after Dusty and I got married, we were talking to some friends who were in the process of planning their wedding.  Dusty said that there was only one thing he would change about our wedding.  I was interested.  What would that one thing be?  He said that instead of the traditional wedding march, he would have me walk out to this song.
She's more by Andy Griggs

2005:  And, this is the song that I hope describes me.  I really want to be this kind of a person.  Super chick We live

 

2008:  I am showing how I bounce around on the styles of music I listen to.  This is Charlie's favorite song, but it became my favorite at the time when she would sing it to B and he would coo and fall asleep.  

2011:  This year is another year marked by several songs.  

Blessing by Laura Story

 You are More by Tenth Avenue North

and 

Johnny Diaz "More Beautiful You"

I think this is a "theme" throughout my life.  I am so very thankful that God continues to let me know that regardless of what others think or what I see he thinks I am Beautiful!

 What about you?  What is your life in song?

C's glasses came in today.  I just LOVE them!

I scrapbooked!!!!!

And I don't mean that I went out to my room to work on a "project".  No, I scrapbooked.  I ordered new pictures.  Picked them up. Created a layout!  I can not tell you how incredibly excited I am.  I had a few friends over this week.  I spent 4 hours plus in my room and I walked away with 3 one page layouts and a 2 page layout.  I scraped 21 pictures!  

Here is the first one:  Science with Dad

I used stuff that was left on my desk.  Papers that I had pulled for projects ages ago and just have not found the "page" for them.  These pictures completely explain how things go in our house.  My daughter flicked her potato cake across the room with her spoon.  I got on to her for "throwing" food and her dad turned it into a science lesson complete with vocabulary.  "This dear is a fulcrum, and this is how you use it."  I conceded the battle and got them marshmallows instead of eggs and potato cakes.  If I missed picking up one of the marshmallows it would not stink later.  I love the pictures that show both my husband and my son with their mouths open trying to catch the marshmallows.

 This layout is another one where I grabbed the stuff on my table.  I used my new birthday banner stamps.  These pictures make me laugh.  I have tired to do a picture a day this year.  I really want to get Project life and scrap them.  Anyway, one of those pictures I caught B sleeping under his bed.  About a week later, I found Charlie doing the same thing.  I knew when I snapped the picture of Charlie I was going to scrap about the two of them being the "monsters under the bed."

 I know it is not Easter but I just love these pictures.  My goal is to eventually have enough layouts for each season that my "decorations" are old layouts. I have one for every Easter since Charlie was born (6).  I can't wait to see them side by side.  And, don't you just think that little guy  is the sharpest dressed kiddo in town?  I sure do!  

I finally scrapped the retreat in April.  Here is my post about it.  Once i get ink for my printer I will print out my testimony and put it behind the picture in the top left corner.  I have also handwritten about the experience (much of which is on my blog).  I want my kids to see God's faithfulness when we are obedient to His will.  New ribbon.  I can not believe that I used something new.  I have a hard time using ribbon.  I just love it so much and I like to look at it.  I tend to buy it put it away and then just look at if from time time.  This ribbon never even made it to the "to be put away basket."

I am refreshed and rejuvenated.  I already have two layout ideas jumping around in my head.  I keep thinking of my to do list in terms of "if I get this done" then I can scrap for 20 minutes.  I snuck out and pulled some paper together for a layout I am toying with in my mind.  I wonder if I can sneak out and finish it once the  kids go to sleep tonight.  B took a very short nap so maybe he will go to bed early tonight (or at least on time).

Conversations that take my breath away

I love it when  I have a conversation with one of my kids that just takes my breath away.  Coming home from school was like that today.
"Mom, do you know how to cross your heart and lock it with a key?"
"Why do you want to lock your heart?"
"Oh,  I just have something that I don't ever want to get out of my heart."
"What's that?"
"I want to be a godly lady.  I don't want that to ever get out of my heart."
(Gasp once,  I want this for her as well.  I am SO amazed that she has this thought at 6.  I did not have these kind of thoughts until my late 20's)
"That's  a good reason to want to lock your heart.  Do you know any Godly ladies?"
"YES!!! Mary."
Right now in our lives we have several Mary's.  
"Which Mary?"
"That's silly Mom!  Jesus's mom."
"Yes, she was a godly woman.  Do you know any that are alive right now?"
"You."
(Gasp twice.  This is my prayer for myself.  I am so very thankful that my daughter considers me a Godly woman.  Especially lately.  It seems that with Dusty gone I seem to lose my temper a lot more and a lot faster.  What a blessing to me that even with all my mistakes and faults my 6 year old thinks of me as a godly woman.)

Cake pops

I am a dork.  I love these silly things.  I have made them 3 times now.  The last were the easiest.  So, I know that the next time will be even easier.  I think I might just have to donate some to the Auction.  My first try was by hand.  Dusty helped.  They turned out so super cute.  And then they all fell off.  They were WAY too big.  The second time I made them,  I forgot to take a picture.  I made them smaller using a mini cookie cuter.  They stayed on the stick this time.  They still did not turn out exactly the way I wanted.  I tried to use a shaped cutter.  Then when I tried to cover them, they just did not turn out right.


This last time, I made them all by myself.  I did not use the stick though b/c I was worried about how to transport them.  They turned out so cute.  Charlie wanted ones that looked like suns.  I tried, but I did not like the way they turned out.  The next morning when I showed these to Charlie she was SO excited b/c they looked like ice cream tops.  I think I will try these again but put them on a mini ice cream cone. My picture was an after thought so it is not the best picture in the world.  I would really like to have the actual cook book to see if she gives any "tips" that I can't get just looking at the web.

I'm dreaming of a day when I can scrapbook again...

wombat from Christian Paper Crafts gallery 



This great card from Lorettagrace from Christian Paper Crafters gallery






I really want to finish my ABC verse album that I started in January.  


I really want to finish this album too.  My time on the Faith Sister's design team was just incredible!  I just wish I had more time to scrap.  I have so much more I want to add to that book.  I need to just schedule a babysitter to come over so that I can work for hours on end and not worry about the kids.  Sunny's layout is just STUNNING!!!! It takes my breath away.

Here is a favorite of mine from a Davine at Studio Calico that I "stalk".  I just LOVE her work.

Here are a few of my favorites by Margrethe from their gallery.

And two from a dear friend that I met at a scrapbook store in the city four, maybe five years ago.  I love Penny's work.

And the last thing I want to make on my dream scrapbook day... My friend Jonnelle (which I have never met in person but LOVE her).  Has the neatest wreath.  I just have to make one.  And then, join a swap so that I can decorate it.  How great would that be to have new tags for every season!!!  Your "seasonal" decorations would fit in a shoe box.    
I think that is all I would like to accomplish.  Okay, may I would like to just do a simple layout of things going on in each of the kids lives right now.  Maybe even a layout or two about Dusty.  


Oh, to be scrapbooking again!


 

Music Man and C

We are having  a little girl time tonight.  C and I are watching Music Man.  We get a few times into the movie.  And the conversation goes like this:
C:  Mom is he really a music teacher.
A:  No,  He is a con man.  He is trying to trick the town.
C: Why?
A: He is trying to trick them out of their money.
C:  He is not being a Godly man.  I don't think I should be watching this.