No quiet time

No quiet time today, and I am really feeling it.  I am not by any means a Godly woman.  It is a desire of mine when I die to be described as one.  But, I am not there yet.  Today is one of those days that I can tell that I did not get near enough sleep this week.  I feel worn and drained.  I am feeling the pressure of playing all week by looking around my house and seeing the clean laundry that is calling my name.  I feel it in my bones (and eyes) that bedtime will not come early enough tonight.  And yet, I am so refreshed.  I am a daughter of Eve who is torn between two churches.  I have the Catholic church that I go to during school hours.  They have taught me how to be reverent, how to contemplate the things of the lord, how to truly worship.  And then I have my home church.  This is the place where I have been taught many wonderful things.  I have learned to meditate on scripture and hide it in my heart.  I have learned to search the scriptures for God's meaning for me knowing that it is okay if it does not match exactly what everyone else receives because I am different.  I have been taught to become somewhat of a prayer warrior.  And, in these things I have found God who has been there from the beginning,  My creator, My comfort.
This past week I heard a request of an amazing woman.  "I have been negative and down hearted.  I confessed this and the Lord took it away."
I am feeling there is SO much I need to confess:  a lack of patience,  harsh words,  unkind thoughts, frustration...time.  And yet, with all these faults I find myself in worship.  I find myself in prayer like I have never been in prayer before.  I pray for my kids.  I pray for my husband.  I pray for myself.  And this year, I have found myself praying for concerns on the spot.  God has put such a passion in my heart that I was unaware of.  I never imagined that one of my spiritual gifts might be prayer.  This week I have prayed with a parent.  I have prayed with four different co-workers multiple times when discussing issues on our hearts.  I have found myself praying in the car when I am frustrated and drained.  (I did this today, out loud praying that God would take my frustrations away and give me the quiet spirit I needed for my kids.  Charlie told Brantley to be quiet so she could hear mommy pray.  Brantley began to pray over and over again, "Help me listen and obey, help me listen and obey."
Just today I found myself waking last night (4:45 am)  to one of the most vivid dreams I have had in a long while.  One of the families in my class is having some difficulty.  They were so much on my heart that in my dream I was praying for them/their marriage/their family.  So vivid was this dream that I had to act on it.  I woke up shaking.  I got out of bed and begin to pray.  I prayed for 45 minutes for each member of the family.
Then again at work when talking with a friend about the upcoming weekend.  I found myself asking  do you want to pray about that.  This is so out of character for me.  I pray but it is always silent and NEVER where others can hear.
I know that God is going to do some amazing things.  I am refreshed by the prayers that I have shared with others.  So in this,  I pray now...

Project Life

 April 2:  I came home from my retreat to these wonderful ladies: Noel, Sarah, and Shelly.  They came to scrapbook with me!

 April 3:  B loves to help unload and load the dish washer.  Charlie LOVES to take pictures.

 April 4th:  For dinner the kids got to choose one fresh vegetable to put on our salad for dinner.  Charlie choose Green peppers.  B wanted Mushrooms.  They LOVE to choose their veggies for the salad.  We make it a special treat.  And, they eat more of them.

 After the store we decided to go geo cache'ing.  We don't have a GPS which makes this game a little harder but we sure do have a BALL.  This was a good find/hide.

 April 5:  We planted our garden tonight.  I can't wait for the fresh produce from our backyard.  That is if I can keep the kids out of it.

April 7th:  Charlie decided to clean her room on her own tonight.

 April 10th:  I love wishing flowers.  I have a picture of Charlie a little younger than this blowing a wish.  I see some scrapbooking in my future!

 April 11th:  My kids have the BEST grandparents ever.  Charlie LOVES fancy.  She is always asking Grandma to eat on the fancy dishes.  Tonight we did.  Fine china, fancy linen table cloth,  crystal glasses.  She was in PRINCESS heaven!

 April 11:  My two are not afraid of the monsters under the bed.  They like to sleep with them instead.

Scrappy time!

I am so excited that I actually scrapped pictures instead of projects.  I feel that the only thing I have scrapped lately is projects.  I completed three layouts.  I love page maps.  They are always a starting point, but my layouts NEVER look like the map.  I guess that is okay.








This one makes me laugh b/c this is not their LATEST mud adventure.  This is their second one.  I have tried scrapping these pictures for months and have never found the right paper.  The colors in the pictures are so vibrant I have had a really hard time with it. I don't know if these really work but I am satisfied with them.  Not happy just satisfied.

I don't know if it is good or bad but all my pictures seem to have a story to tell.  I like that.  I wish I knew the little stories from my childhood that would help me to remember the "happy & good" times instead of just the bad stuff.   I hope that 20 years from now my kids and grandkids feel the same way that I do.  B has always loved ducks.  I found this cute book for his birthday Called Super Duck.  We have read it and read it and read it.  One day B got his stuffed duck and said "AH, he no super duck."  I had just the solution.  I took some left over material from Dusty's cape and made two small super capes.  They were perfect for B's favorite stuffed animals.  One for his duck and one for his monkey.  Now, almost a year later those have become one of his favorite toys.  He has put them on every stuffed animal he owns.  They even make an occasional appearance on his sister's babies.
 

My first sale on my Etsy site.  I am SO excited.  Not just for the sale, but because I LOVE making things for other people.  This was a special request.   I hope she likes it as much as I do.

project Life

 March 21st:  Dusty is teaching the kids to hold their breath and go under water.  B is doing a great job.  C can "swim" across the hot tub underwater.

 March 22:  My kids LOVE to have sleepovers.  I hope they remember theirs like I remember mine.

 March 24th:  Happy Anniversary!  I can not believe that we have been married 10 years.  In celebration I made an apple crisp.  Or is a crumb?  Depends on whether you are American (crisp) or British (crumb).

 March 25th:  If you look closely you can see the "snow" that B needed.  He poured Garlic Salt all over his trains b/c he wanted Thomas to be stuck in the snow.

 March 26th:  My kids have been opposite from day one.  Charlie wants a hole apple.  B want's "lats, lats, lats apple."

 March 28th:  Dusty on his scooter.  This investment has saved us over $600 last year.

 March 29th:  We had a family date night.  C had a good parent/teacher conference so we treated her and B with a movie.  We stayed up late to watch Tangled.

March 30th:  Charlie has been making tents out of everything.  Dusty surprised her when she got home from school with this tent for her bed.

To Follow the intent of the law or follow the Law

I don't tend to let my kids "play" much unsupervised.  I don't know if it is the control freak in me or the worrier but I am always afraid they are going to get hurt or get into something.  But, Grandma lets them roam unsupervised in the yard.  Most days this is not a problem.  They stay within grandma's acre and don't do too much damage.   The last time my two wonderful children were at grandma's they experienced roaming in the field behind grandma's.  They thought that was so great to have that freedom.  With this freedom come the lesson of barb wire hurts and cows will spook.  The last time they were at grandma's they also got some unsupervised play in the yard.  They decided to get down to their panties and diaper and have a dirt fight.  Really I don't know what it is about these two, but they love throwing dirt and mud.  So, Sunday when we went to grandma's and knowing my two I told them:
"C and B, you can play in grandma's yard but NO DIRT fight.  We are going to see oh' grandpa's.  And leave your clothes on."

 We let them play outside for 30 minutes. It was time to go see Oh' grandpa.  I went out to get them.  They are NO where to be found.  Grandma and Grandpa come out.
Grandpa: "Don't worry they are just in the pasture.  They are fine."
Me-"This is why I don't let my kids play outside.  They get into too much."
Grandma:  "They can't hurt anything.  They are just in the field.  They never go near the pond."
And where, oh where were my kids.  Not near the pond.  Oh no, they were IN the pond.  THANK God for no rain lately.  The pond was only waist high to my two year old.  Who was having a BALL in the Mud.  Not water but MUD.

 Dusty tops the hill to the pond seeing them in the middle covered from head to toe in mud.  They are laughing and throwing mud at each other.  Dusty proceeds to tell them that their mother (ME) is going to kill them.
Charlie says, "But why Daddy?  We are not throwing dirt and we kept our clothes on."
Sure enough both kids had taken off their shoes and left them on the bank.  They had every stitch of clothing on.   My kids chose to follow the law.  I am going to really have to get better about explaining the why of the  "Law."

We got to see Oh' Grandpa it was just a little later than we had originally wanted.

CCC Women's Retreat 2011

 I love retreats, especially women's retreats.  There is something about being able to get away to spend time with other women and worship God.  I know that God should be a priority in my life but sometimes (and if I am honest most of the time) he tends to be the last one I think or that rushed "Oh, God by the way."  Retreats are a time where my sole purpose is to spend time in his word and worshipping him.  When I was returning my my quiet time off in the woods this is the image I saw.  (Add four more women that did not make it in the picture.)  I came around the corner of lunch hall and my breath was taken away.  How incredible special it is to see women in time of prayer and worship with God!

 There is a funny story about this retreat that changes things.  I am not a "planner" in the sense that I like to take care of all the details of retreats.  This year I felt that God wanted me on the planning committee.  Dusty laughed when I told him I was on the planning committee for the retreat.  "That's not something you normally do."  I know I told him.  But what I did not know was that God had a bigger plan for me.  I gave my testimony and took care of the "craft" (I will add a post on that in a few days.)

Kay introduced me by telling the story of God's faithfulness to pull together this retreat.  My friend Mitzi and I joked before hand that she would have to get a picture at the beginning of my testimony so that I wasn't crying.  Kay didn't give me a chance. I was crying while I was being introduced.  I walked up the podium needing a handful of Kleenex's.

 God's story through me is this  "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you.  He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid.  Do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

I was born to an unwed teenage mother, an amazing woman of strength.  I was not around my read dad until after he became sober.
I may have felt rejection and loneliness growing up but God always provided at least one person that made me feel wanted.  The "your not good enough" voices that came from my step dad, kids at school, and within myself were always battled with God's word.  




"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
God always went before me in all things, and prepared the way.  

Debra

Two amazing friends!

I began praying at 12  for the man that I would marry. God went before me and created an amazing man that fit my "list" and beyond.  I prayed for a roommate.  God gave me more, a true and dear friend.  I prayed for a church.  God gave me a family.  I prayed for a friend that would be there when I really needed her.  He gave me four.  Four amazing women who would be there for me when I needed them, who would let me be there for them, and who I could pray with.   Through the years I have learned that God's timing is perfect.  I must be patient.  Sarah and Abraham had to wait 25 years for Isaac.  I must also wait until God's time is perfect.  "Take Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Bonnie and Sherrie

If I am seeking him, then my desires will also be his desires.    Over the last 33 years I have learned something so valuable.  Depression, loneliness, self-doubt will be things that I deal with because they remind me to depend on Him.
excerpt from the poem
Made Her

Anne and Chelsea 

"I made her...She is different.  She is unique.  With Love I formed her in her mother's womb.  With love I fashioned her with great joy.  I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.
I made her in such a way that she would need Me.  I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be...only because I need her to lean and depend on Me.  i know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this, she would go her own way and forget Me..her creator. "
God alone is my comfort.  He will send skin (people on Earth) to comfort me in my times of need but He alone is that comfort.

Cate and Melissa

Laurie

He alone will bring me back from captivity.    "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:12-14  
What an absolutely amazing thing, that he will find ME.  When I search him out, He will find me.  He will be my refugee.  So, I spoke at the retreat.  ME. Someone who feels more times than not that I have nothing to give.  That I am not worthy.  That I am useless.  Someone who does and will continue to battle depression, loneliness, and self-doubt.  And yet, God had an amazing plan this weekend to show ME that I have a story to share.  He showed me that I have a testimony.  That God has done amazing things for me and I will rejoice in it.  I will leave you with three verses:
Psalms 126:2-3 "Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” ³ The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

Isaiah 26:12  "LORD, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us."

And

Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

THANK YOU GOD!  For an amazing group of women to remind me of your faithfulness.

I love my husband!

Dusty and I were married 10 years ago March 24th.  I know, it is crazy how fast time goes by. It doesn't feel like 10 years and yet it feels like forever (in a good way).  Last year I told him that for our 10th anniversary I wanted to go away with him somewhere. I did not care where or what we did.  I just wanted to get away with him.  And, I got girlie.  I say that to say this.  Yes, I am a girl but I do not like to shop.  I hate shoes and I don't wear jewelry.  For three weeks prior to our trip I went shopping I can't tell you how many times.  I bought 4 new outfits (2 of which are dresses) a pair of shoes and JEWELRY!  It is so not like me.  Everything I bought is not my "typical" style.
So, he surprised me.  We went to Guthrie, Oklahoma.   
We started out the trip with a visit to the Publishing Museum.

 This sign has been "wrong" for over 100 years.  I just loved these doors.

And these stairs!  I have always wanted stairs like this in my home.  I live in a one story house.  I don't think that will happen any time soon.

After leaving here we rode their trolly tour.  That was neat.  It turns out that D and I have something in common.  We love to hear about  and look at old homes.  Crazy.  I thought he did this for me.  Nope, he says he likes it too.

 We went by the drug store museum.  I didn't take any pictures b/c I found a few post cards that were PERFECT.  The gardens were really neat. I found a bottle of "chill" pills that were sold in the early 1800's.  I found that kind of funny.  
Ate lunch at a bbq place. YUM!   Then went to the Territorial Museum.
I am a history lover so these kinds of things are loads of fun.  I loved this fireplace.  This was the dress of the first lady of Oklahoma.  BEAUTIFUL! And you can tell by the dress that she was not skinny!  I just thought that was funny.

This might be an interesting read:  True Politeness A Handbook for Ladies .

D is looking a the craftsmanship of the early house.

 This shirt is one of the items I bought.  It is a tank top that is nothing but lace and fancy girly stuff.  I loved it but it is not something that I would normally wear and definitely to school.  10 years and we are happier now than back in 2001.  There have been some bumps but life would not be blessed if we did not have the hardships to remind us of the blessings!

We stayed in the upstairs suite of the Red Brick and Roses.  AMAZING! Normally I am cheap but it was so worth it.   

 

 We fell in LOVE with this tree outside the bed and breakfast.  It was the PERFECT climbing tree and it had lots of neat places for animals to hide.  We took the picture to show the kids b/c they too would find it neat.

 On Sunday we went shopping downtown.  I felt like an old couple.  We walked around holding hands.  A perfect weekend.