My word: KISS

Ali Edwards has had a "word" or one little word as she calls it for a few years now.  2010 my word was blessing.  I wanted to be a blessing to others and found that I was the one being blessed.  Last year my word was purposeful or intentional.  Somewhere around  July I lost focus but when looking back it was those purposeful or intentional moments that got me through the year.  So this year, I have chosen a word. My boss gave it to the staff this last week.  She is not real sure where she heard it but I KNOW that it needs to be my word for 2012.  KISS  K-eep I-t S-imple S-tupid!  

Praying scripture

I read this post this morning.  It was JUST what I needed.  I am seeing a "scrapbook" or sorts in my future. What a great way to keep his promises at my finger tips!  I will make it easy to add to so that as I find things over the years I can continue to add scripture.  I can not wait to get started.

I will also add these:

When Lonely:
Jeremiah 29:12-14
12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you.” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and place where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

When tempted: 

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Any suggests dear friends on other scripture I could add?

A Look Back

2011 has been a very hard year.  It has also been a year of answered prayers.  In January Dusty and I began reading our bible together.  We read John and most of Romans.  I have prayed for this since I knew in July of 1999 that Dusty was "the one."  In February,  I began getting ready for a speaking engagement.  I was going to give my testimony at a women's  retreat.  This was NOT something I have every thought I would do.  In March,  Dusty and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  In April, I spoke at the retreat.  And found that God used it to show me just how faithful he has been throughout my life.  In May, I was matched with two incredible women from church through a mentoring program.  Dusty lost his job and Charlie was put on a "Individual Reading Plan." God was so faithful to have given me eyes to see all the ways that this was HIS plan for our lives.   In June I turned 35 (ouch)  and Dusty got a new job.  God's faithfulness prevails.  In July I became a single mom.  Dusty went to Tulsa.  Charlie turned 6.  I had a "break-down" in front of friends.  That was embarrassing!  In August, I opted not to have a birthday party for my little guy who turned 3.  He has not let me forget it.  By September we were in the full swing of school, single parenthood,  new job,  a kindergartner for the second time, and a three year old who is every bit of 3.  In October,  we dealt with parent teacher conferences and Dusty coming home.  No more single mom. No more going to church by myself.   But now,  what does normal look like?  In November,  life was still crazy and I was not coping.  Charlie was a flower girl in Gwen's wedding.  Gwen was our flower girl.  Was she really old enough?  It was a beautiful wedding.  Dusty left for on last week of training.  Charlie had 2 UTI's this month and B two ear infections.  December came.  And, all the "normal"  did not exist.  I did not do a single thing with/for my kids that I normally do in December.  We did not leave nativity  for friends to find.  We did not look at the Christmas lights.   We did not go to Bethlehem.  We did not do our Jesse Tree. We did not do our advent calendar.  We did not read a book every night.  We did not read what God wants for Christmas.  We did not make a gingerbread house, play dough or cookies.   But,  we did have a lot of cuddle time.  We had a lot of family time.  And, I began to get better (Thank you Dr. Grizzle).   2011 would have been a horrible year had it not been for the blessing that God gave me.  God gave me a heart to see each of his blessings.  He gave me an incredible  husband.  I love him more today that I thought ever possible.  He gave me Mary, a babysitter for B and someone I now count as a friend.  He gave me Laurie who took the time to come over each week and study God's word with me.  He gave me Sherry who came over each week and encouraged me.  He gave me Mary who just helped me keep going and is my right hand man in the classroom.   He gave me a sense of belonging.  He gave me friends that I now feel I live life with Duncan's, Murphy's and Hixsons.  It has been a year of great trials and INCREDIBLE blessings!

Urban Dictionary --Amy

I looked up my name at urbandictionary.com It was pretty funny.   American/European traditional name derived from the Latin word amâta, meaning "Beloved."  1. A name linked to Biblical numbers in many ways: 1+13+25 = 39, 3+9 = 12 By digit sum, 1+4+7 = 12 Also, AMY divides the alphabet in the following way: from A to L = 12, M to X = 12, Y to Z =1 Adding these numbers, 12+12+1 = 25, 2+5=7 In addition, (1+2)+(1+2)+1 = 7 thought that was kind of neat  2. The name that was given to the most beautiful girl in the world not something I see An amazing girl who can be seen as perfect in all ways, even though she'll never admit it. She is very beautiful, but remains in denial about her looks, even though she looks amazing even at the worst of times. That is so me.  I do not call myself a "beauty" She has an amazing personality(which matches her body in Beauty) and is instantly appealing, giving great frist impression to others. She has lots of friends, I hope that is true and inspires them all with edgy and loveable spark which keeps them close for a lifetime. Not to mention it's ALWAYS interesting to talk to her with just about anything and everything! A talk with Amy can brighten anyones mood, and leave them feeling very happy Again I hope it is true. (except only when they have to stop and go to bed). She has a great love of food (especially bagels) and sense of humour and often makes up her own crazy wordsI have been known to make up crazy words , which only makes you love her more! A day with Amy is never wasted, and when you experience this you realise that nothing else can ever be as fulfilling. From the point you meet and fall in love with her you realise you want to be with her for the rest of your life, and not a single experience is ever regretted. just about the most coolest person you'll ever meet. I would not call myself the "coolest person you'll ever meet." a girl so is very mellow and laid back. A lovely girl who loves all her friends and will never cheat on anyone.Yep that's me.   A person who is loving and caring. Loyal to everyone important in her life and is easy to forgive, but won't let someone walk all over her. Yep She steals the heart of everyone she dates, because she is real.  Simply put, Amys are a gift to the world. This made me laugh! notorious for their astonishing good looks and captivating, irresistible charm, amys have been the center of many (if not most) a mans fantasies. again something that made me giggle! Amys will haunt your dreams. A unique yet defining characteristic of Amys is their effortlessly superior sandwich-making abilities. if they cannot create delectable sandwiches, then, they are fakes. The most BEAUTIFUL girl you will EVER meet! Don't even think about breaking her heart or any other piece of her, she CAN hunt you down and WILL find you! Very humourous, and fun to be around. An extremely HOT as hell kind of girl. May think she's ugly and have low self-esteem, Yep but everyone thinks she's outrageously gorgeous.  someone who lives to love, loves to live,   naturally a leader, and handles problems, someone who handles alot of stress, and likes to do everything herself. Ouch, a little too true. Likes to watch funny movies, tv shows,   the name derives from the French word "Ami" meaning friend, and the French word "Amee" meaning beloved. She is uncommenly loyal, and once friends with you will always be there for you, she has fierce morals, despises betrayal and rumours, and talking about people behind there backs. She forgives easily but never allows herself to be walked over. She is matura for her age and has a very wise way of thinking of things, she loves to laugh and will never be the last to have a joke.   She is a fierce, fierce friend, never the one to leave a friend hanging, alone, upset, angry and hates to fall out with them.True, true, true She has big dreams, a big future ahead of her and had planned it out, but is trying not to think of that right now and focus on now, the present.My big plans are not always God's plans.  Name means "beloved" which is very true for most amys! Amy is a typically quiet person until you warm up them and the true craziness comes out. so true! Amy is aware of her surroundings and listens well.. she probably knows more than you think. She may look like a follower but she is really her own person and can cheer anyone up with just her smile. She is beautiful but for some reason cannot see her true beauty inside and out.  she is an awesome person with her own special quirks that make her loveable by everyone. shes always there when you need her. I hope others see this! This was a VERY interesting read.

Money in my pockets

Me:  B, What are you doing?
B: I putting money in my pockets.
Me:  Why are you putting in your pockets?
B:  I gonna pay.
Me:  What are you gonna pay for?
B:  I gonna pay for drinks.
Me:  Where?
B: At 7-11.  I need lots of money in my pockets.
Me:  Why?
B:  I gonna pay for food and drinks at 7-11.
Me:  Didn't we just have dinner?
B:  Yeah.
Me:  Why are we going to 7-11?
B: Because I want to go there and get a drink for me.
I guess we stop and get icee's a little too much.

Never enough

I think I am battling depression.  I seem to be crying a LOT right now.  I cry a lot but lately it has been even more.  Tonight was another of those "never enough" nights.  I can not wait to get to heaven and be with Jesus.  Because I know that once there, I will never again have that never enough feeling.  I will be too focused on the Lord to worry about myself.  I have decided that my depression is just that selfishness.  I am just way too busy worried about myself.  That being said,  today was another "I'm not enough day."
-I did not get the house as clean as I wanted.
-I could not make B quit crying.
-C wanted only Daddy.
-Laundry did not get done.
-I dropped a cake pop.
- I was late--AGAIN!
-I can't find my keys.  Why can't I find my keys?  I don't know.  Maybe when I find my keys I will remember where I put them.
-D wanted to sleep ( I know I should not be upset by this.  He has not been sleeping well.  He requires 8 hours of sleep.  He got home super late.  He is working really late.  He did not sleep much the night before.)
-I put a pan in the wrong place.
-I did not put pumpkin in the french toast.
-I don't know where the space saver bags are.
-There are things in the kids craft closet that I did not know were there.
-I can't find the scissors.
- D cuddled with C and fell asleep.
-I hate the way my legs look.  I can't seem to look in the mirror and like what I see.
-My kids have no problem with me going anywhere that is away from them.
-I am going to the Auction by myself.
-I had a parent ask me if I was okay b/c I just seem like I might be getting sick.
-I got put at a table by myself.  (Well, not really.  I was with the Spanish teacher.)
I HATE days where I feel like this.  Where I feel left out.  Where I feel unwanted.  Where I feel as if no one would know/care if I were gone.  Where I feel as if I am not enough.  I HATE days where every little thing makes me defensive.  I HATE days where I am on the verge of tears.  I HATE days where I just don't feel as if I am enough.

I am forcing myself to repeat after each offense that God is enough.  His quite voice whispers I am enough after each one.  Especially the last one. I feel as if no one would care if I were gone.  "I, sweet beloved child, am ENOUGH!!! "

God's timing

Several years ago a family in my school was presented with some life changing news.  A mother of one of my students was told that her mother had died.  This mother was very active in their lives.  When this family got this news, their friends just swept in and took complete control of things.  Everyone was taken care of.  I was devastated by this.  I know it is a really silly thing to be upset about.  I thought about who I would call if something horrible happened.  I didn't really have anyone that I felt close enough to to "bother" them with my burdens.  I was upset by this.  The first person I call in an emergency should not be my boss.
So I began to pray for a family to live life with.  I have prayed long and hard about this.
Tonight, the kids and I were at a birthday party.  It did not feel like a birthday party.  It felt like home.  I was VERY glad that it was dark because several times I was over taken with thanksgiving, joy, happiness, and just PLAIN sap.
I am one of those people that often wonders what others think.  I still have a daily battle of wills.  I have the voice that tells me I am not good enough.  That no one would even be interested in living life with me. And then I have the voice that tells me there is something special about me.
So tonight as I listened to the kids playing and the conversation of the adults, I realized that I was with a  group of people who called my daughter eccentric and truly believe that she would not be anything else.  A group of people who see my son full of energy ,  a Saint Bernard that doesn't realize that he has knocked you down but is licking your face with excitement instead.  A group of people that enjoy me for me.  I am so completely overwhelmed with joy and gratitude with the answered prayers.  I have found the families that I want to live life with.  And, I feel that they are willing to live life with us.
As I sit typing this I am crying.  I just can't express how Amazing I see my God to be.  He knew before I knew that things had to happen.
I am so incredibly thankful for God's amazing gift of friends!