The Power of God

I struggle with abandonment issues and depression. I struggle with feeling unworthy and not "good" enough. These are things that have been battles for years upon years. But "THIS" time it has been different. I have been a believer since Jan 19, 1987. I was 9 years old sitting on a basketball court in the middle of a church gym on Yokota Air Force in Japan when I accepted Christ. (Praise God for the Awana program) And yet, even being a believer I have struggled with depression. I have struggled with worthlessness and loneliness. The devil has been working on me. I have felt like that kid in the lunch room who doesn't know where to sit at the lunch table during faculty meetings (really I am 33 I need to get over this). I have felt unwanted with people won't accept my "friend" request on facebook--again, I am 33 I need to get over this. I have felt left out when friends have told others things and not me--I am 33. I need to get over this. I have felt friendless b/c I could not come up with a person that I would call if some crisis hit. I have felt friendless when friends won't call or email back or cancel on me b/c of the busyness of life. I have felt lonely when I overhear friends talking about getting together and not getting an invitation as well. But this time, it was different. This time the lonelier I felt the more I turned to God. The more I sang up with the radio (KLove). The more I read my bible. The more I prayed. The more I talked with my kids about his faithfulness, his love, his provision. And yet, the loneliness grew to the point that I just did not know where to turn or what to do...And the God who has been there all along took over. He showed himself. He showed his true faithfulness. The faithfulness that has kept me alive. Two weeks ago my Faith Sisters assignment was my Testimony. I don't know that I have ever given my testimony. I have never written it down. So I have been working on it, (still not finished). I have a layout and a place for my journaling but I have not finished that part. During this time my mother-in-law offered to take the kids for a weekend. I had nothing to do. I did what I always do when I have the opportunity to scrapbook. I sent an e-mail (facebook) to my friends that scrapbook and invited them over. Come scrapbook or come do what ever just come.

I had three friends show up. The secretary at my school, the parent of an old student, and my college roommate (I had a few but she is always the one that I consider my roommate from college). And throughout the night I felt God's comfort. I felt his provision. At the end of the night, when it was just Leslee and I we talked. We laughed. We cried. We prayed. And, I felt loneliness no more. I felt the Power of MY God. God put me with this amazing women 15 years ago. We lived together less than 2 years and yet, she is one of my very best friends. We do not speak as often as I would like. And yet, when we do... I think the thing I miss most about living with her was our Sunday night prayer sessions. (And, she is the only one that understands that I do not like to talk to ANYONE first thing in the morning.)

And then, as if last night was not enough of God's power and faithfulness, this morning in Church he gave even more confirmation. The worship music was just that...my time to lift God up and to worship him. We are studying the book of Jeremiah (one of my favorite books). Two verses jumped out at me. Jeremiah 42:3 "So pray that the LORD your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do." This spoke volumes of confirmation to me about what I have been doing all summer and what I will continue to do. Pray to MY God that He will show me where to go and what to do. And the second Jeremiah 42:10-12 "If you will stay in Judah, I will build you up and not tear you down. I will plant you and not pull you up, because I sad about the disaster I brought on you. Now you fear the king of Babylon but don't be afraid of him. Don't be afraid of him, says the Lord, because I am with you. I will save you and rescue you from his power. I will be kind to you, and he will also treat you with mercy and let you stay in your land ." To me: Amy, if you will stay in the WORD, I will build you up & not tear you down. I am sad about the disaster (abandonment issues, depression, loneliness, self worth issues) I brought on you. Now you fear the (fill in anyone of those which all equal the devil) but don't be afraid of him. DON'T BE AFRIAD of him. I AM WITH YOU. I WILL rescue you.

And, as if this was not enough to show his faithfulness a friend followed me out of the church building to check on me to make sure that I was okay. I sure I must look a mess. I feel like I have cried all day b/c of my overwhelming sense that God is with me and he is faithful. Praise YE the LORD.

Faith Sisters

I am so behind with my DT work. I am so glad to be a part of this Design Team but very frustrated with myself that I have not taken the time to scrapbook the way I really want to.

This week's topic was Job/Career. I thought this would be perfect. I need to do about 6 more layouts. One for each year of students..

Brantley's food fix

I am feeling guilty. I feel that I am always talking about Charlie and never B. Well, here is my little guy. And can I tell you that right now he wants to eat only one thing. Can you guess what that one thing is? That's right taco, or Ta-O as he says it. He will only eat dinner if it is a taco. I have had to get creative. No we are not having eggs and ham. We are having an egg and ham taco. No we are not having Chicken and rice. We are having Chicken tacos. No we are not having a ham and broccoli wrap. We are having broccoli tacos. And the list goes on... Oh, what I will do to get my kid to eat. And the funny thing is. If you give him dinner w/o a tortilla (wheat, corn, flour it does not matter), he throws himself on the ground crying NO!! NO!! aunt TA-O! Once you show him the tortilla, he will eat anything else on the plate. Such a silly guy.

Charlie's party

Charlie wanted an "ART party". We thought that decorating your own cupcakes was a much better idea then having ones that were pre-decorated. They had the best time using popsicle sticks to ice their cupcake and DUMPing gobs of sprinkles on them. One of the cupcakes I swear had more sprinkles then cake. :)


We had stations set up around the yard.

Art easel: I loved how their pictures looked hung on the side of the shed.
Stamping: paper, stamps and ink
Creature making: pom pom balls, google eyes, glue
Sculpting: Pipe cleaners
College: color shapes to glue

Dusty built a new deck in the back behind the shed. The purpose was for our picnic table. As soon as Charlie saw it she said, "Oh Daddy, thank you so much for my very own stage." I couldn't help but make it the very best stage every. You can't see it but the little boy is fighting the kids green and purple dragon. He is hung on the back of the shed.

It was so much fun to see Charlie's friends from Pre-K, church, and family.

I hope they had as much fun as we did! Happy Birthday Charlie!

Mom, Can I be a young lady from the old west and wash my baby clothes?

Mammaw and Pappaw

We went to visit my dad and stepmom. They are such a blessing to me, a great reminder of God's wonderful love and forgiveness. I met my dad when I was 14. He married my step mom (Isn't she just beautiful!) when I was 18. We had a wonderful visit. We went swimming and hung out at their house. We met Grandma Flo (dad's mom) the a local incredible pizza to celebrate the kids "Happy Day" since we were not going to see them for their birthdays. We had a great time.

Charlie Breeanna

She is just one amazing little girl. She makes me laugh. She makes me smile. She is the light of my life.
She says silly stuff like "momma, let me think really hard before I decide on my guess." " Heavenly father, You know me. You really know me." " I selected three that I would like to have." (What four, I mean five year old, says stuff like that?"
She says thank you to everyone for everything. She thanks me for clean underwear.





She loves mushrooms and green peppers. She has an amazing imagination. She loves her brother. She asks me questions that really make me think. She has the best laugh. And, she is MINE. Happy 5th Birthday baby girl.