Love Days like these

Me: Charlie, How do you know that mommy loves you?
C: You give me lots adn lots of kisses.
Me: How do you know that Daddy loves you?
C: He gives me lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, lots, and lots of showers.

DT for faithsisters--spiritual heritage

I am a little behind this week with parent teacher conferences. I just dread the February ones. They make me a nervous wreck.
The journaling "In fall of 2009 I took a bible study on Ruth. Our final assignment was to write and give a "devotion". That was on of the hardest things I have ever done. In 2010, I want to pray more and be a blessing to others." The hidden journaling is the notes that I used to give my "devotion."
This is also sketch 172 for pencil lines.




circles (Psalm 37:4, Isaiah 7:9, Jeremiah 29:11-14, Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 62:5-8, Proverbs 3:5-6)
white journaling;My faith is something I have kept by me through it all. At a young age I was surround by Godly people. My grandparents took me to church. But at a time when I need God more than anything it was then my mother who put me on a bus to Awanas. I learned verse after verse of God's love and grace and my sin. To this day, I can still repeat most of those verses learned so long ago in an Awana program in Japan. On a gym floor during game time I accepted Christ as my Savior. Through the years his voice and faithfulness have always been there.
pink journaling: My grandfather(Papa) is a Godly man. For years he lead music in church. I saw him read his bible daily. He led paper and was always kind and helpful to others. My grandmother was always the vocal one. She taught Sunday School and talked about how important God is.
This is a sunday sketch from studio calcio.com

My Scrapbook room

Here is an around the room view as you step into the room this is what you will see on your right. I teach pre-K. The bottom four shelves are trade books that I use in my classroom. Shelf 4 is religious books and Shelf 5 is Scrapbooking stuff. On the white shelves you will see baskets with punches, rub-ons, brads, flowers, and buttons. At the top of the shelf you will see black boxes with memorabilia and ribbon. On my desk you will see a MESS. Yes, that is me in the middle of a project. Maybe I will remember to clean up when I am done. I have two filing cabinets with pictures, punches, and "bills" that hold up my desk. One of my travel cases for crops holds pattern paper. On the desk are two paper boxes. One holds card stock and the other pattern paper.



Here you see the other side of my desk again with a bookshelf the bottom 3 shelves hold trade books. Shelf 4 holds educator books and shelf 5 holds scrapbooking books. Of course my albums are on the top of both book cases. The tall filing cabinet hold the stereo and my listening center books and tapes for school. Yes, I collect kids books. At least that is what I tell my husband. He says the $250 tax credit for teachers just isn't enough. I think I would agree when it comes to my library. You also see a mess in this picture. I had a group over and the chairs are still in the room. The back wall has the heater so it is pretty clean. I love that cross on the wall. My Step-mom gave it to me.


The corner has an ottoman. When I have friends over it is either used to spread out papers or as a space to place the "snacks." It also has storage inside. Right now it has kids toys but that will change over the years. It is on casters so it can also be placed in the center of the room and used as a chair for four people. It stores my folding tables behind it. So far I have fit 8 scrappers in my room at one time. That was fun. The shelving unit across the back wall houses my family games. Can you tell we are a card and board game playing family. The top shelf is where I pull my most used stamps and tools when I have friends over. I have not put anything away from the last crop. The layout display is a gift from my hubby. Isn't he wonderful!


These last two pictures are of the last wall. The trunk in the corner is full of stuff that needs to be "gone" through. I just haven't had the time. I have been too busy creating instead. The couch can serve as a pull out bed or as seating. The storage on the other side of the couch is my kids art stuff. (The storage unit was my present and I am so glad I got it!). I hope that you have enjoyed your visit. If you are in the OKC metro area looking for a place to scrap just drop by. I love having friends over.

Insecurities

Apparently this is the week for insecurities. I feel inadequate as a wife. I haven't really been home all week except to sleep and shower. The house is a disaster. I feel inadequate as a teacher. My room is once again a mess. It was Catholic School week. We were out of dress code most of the week and by today my kids were just out of control. Oh, and parent/teacher conferences are next week. I have a student that I just can't figure out. I feel inadequate as a parent. Charlie goes and asks me a "God" question that i am not quite sure how to answer. I feel inadequate as a faculty member. We played this silly "what kind of learner" game at the faculty meeting this week. I misread the directions and ended up being perfectly matched interpersonal and intrapersonal. (How can you be both?) And then I was insecure b/c half of our staff was mathematical and I was the only staff that was in a "category" all by myself. How much more of a loser could I be? And then we go to the Ice Cream Social at my school. Where I feel left out even though I talked to many people there. And in all this I watched my daughter. I saw her mopey. She knew a few people there but they were not playing exclusively with her. They were playing/dancing with lots of people and then I thought is that why I feel left out? Is it because I am friends with a lot of people and not just a few? And then I wonder what is wrong with me that "feel" a part of the group even though I know that I am. And then I laugh at myself and say well, I guess intrapersonal was very on point for me. Even though I have to laugh at Howard Gardner's definition: our cognitive ability to understand and sense our "self." Intrapersonal intelligence allows us to tap into our being - who we are, what feelings we have, and why we are this way. A strong intrapersonal intelligence can lead to self-esteem, self-enhancement, and a strength of character that can be used to solve internal problems. Intrapersonal intelligence often is not recognized from the outside unless it is conveyed in some form, whether it be intangible as rage or joy, or tangible as a poem or a painting." I hope that she does not inherit my wall flower trait. And here is the funny thing to all this. I am telling Dusty of my insecurities and he says...you are always this way in February because of your parent teacher conferences. Relax, it's what makes you good at your job. I would worry if you didn't get a little nutty in February. So it must be the stress of conferences next week that is making me "intrapersoal" and not just me being a little "nutty."

DT for faithsisters--Grandparents

DT for faithsisters--Grandmother Flo

This one actually needs a lot of explanation b/c it is kind of an odd title for a "grandparents" heritage page.

So, here goes tmi --
My mother and father never married. As an adult I realize that this was for a good reason. I met my real father when I was 15 (and his whole family). The thanksgiving that I met them my grand mother (dad's mom) introduced me to her mother (3 weeks away from death of alzhelmers) as a friend of the family. She also gave me a curling iron with a $.50 garage sale ticket on it when my cousins (2 older and 2 youger) got car speakers, a computer, a karakoe machine, and a ninetdo. I was very hurt. I held onto this anger for many, many years. Now fast-forward, I have a decent relationship with my dad now. We talk. We visit. I will never have a "father/daughter" relationship like I do with my father-in-law but I would say that we have a good relationship. Now, I am a new mother. My daughter Charlie is nine months old. We go to visit my dad so that he can meet his granddaughter. He decides (without asking) that we would have dinner in a restaurant with his family so that they could meet her as well. I was not okay with this. I did not want my children to ever meet his family (well really his mom) b/c I did not want to ever feel unwanted the way I did.

We had the meeting. I had a meltdown in the car on the way back to my dad's. My wonderfully preceptive step-mom encourage me to ask my dad any and all questions that I had about what had happened when /before I was born. So we talked. When I got home from my trip I spent 3 hours on the phone with my mother (the most incredible woman I have ever met) who told me that it all happened 28 years ago and it was old news and didn't matter but that she would tell me what she remembered.

I found out at this point that my parents had been engaged but that my grandmother flo had broken them up (from both mom& dad's precpective). In April of that year I sat down and wrote a note to Flo. It turned out 6 pages front and back. I told her how hurt I was and that I was going to begin to pray that God would help me to forgive her for things that she may or may not have known that had hurt me. (Before this note, If I said or heard her name anger would boil inside me). I wrote the note knowing that this was one note I would never send. (she was 80 something. she was not going to change and she was a very bitter old woman).

Fast-forward some more. I have now had a second child. It is again spring break this time I receive a call from that incredible step-mom of mine. Grandma Flo would like to come to my house for a visit. Would it be okay if they came to see me and stayed in a hotel? (they being my mom, dad, and grandmother Flo) Holy cow was I ready for this? I said yes, they came, it was a good visit.

Now, A year later, I document all of this. The white paper (hidden journaling) is that original letter. Handwritten and tear stained. In the circle is the definition of forgive that means the most to this situation "to cease to feel resentment against." The verse Genesis 50:17 "This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly."

The journaling that can be seen was written and dated this week "For years I held resentment toward my grandmother Flo. I was angry with the way that she treated my mother. I was angry with the story of her telling my mother to leave when she took me to see my dad @ six months. These were stories from Grams and Aunt Brenda (never my mother). Still I had anger. In 2006 my dad set up a meeting for his family to meet Charlie. This turned out to be a good thing even though it tailspined me into depression. I came home talked to both my parents and wrote a letter to Flo. I never sent the letter. Instead, I prayer. And God help me to forgive. The forgiveness if for me and not her. In 2009 she visited my home."

This is one of those not so pretty stories that I have to scrapbook about b/c it shows what an amazing God I have! I want my kids to know these kinds of stories.

If you took the time to read (sorry for the long post). Thanks. I hope that it blesses you as much as God has blessed me through the situation.

And Amy Dawn cried...

Dusty uses this line from Varsity Blues quite often. Tonight was one of those nights. Dusty is a huge, I mean HUGE groundhogs day fans. It is his favorite holiday. Over Christmas I heard that Build a Bear has a ground hog for Groundhogs day. I was so excited. So, I went to look at it. They told me that it doesn't come in until the middle of January. So, I waited. Yesterday, I was so stinking excited. I surprised D made him pick me and kids up at school and take me to the mall for a super cool surprise. We get to build a bear and guess what. No groundhog. Yes, you read that right they did not have a ground hog but I could check on the internet and they could send it to me. Dusty (the wonderful man that he is) says honey it's fine. It is the thought that counts and besides, it saves money. I am the practical one. I always give practical gifts. I would never give something like a stuffed groundhog b/c really who needs another stuffed animal in their house. So, I cried.