Insecurities

Apparently this is the week for insecurities. I feel inadequate as a wife. I haven't really been home all week except to sleep and shower. The house is a disaster. I feel inadequate as a teacher. My room is once again a mess. It was Catholic School week. We were out of dress code most of the week and by today my kids were just out of control. Oh, and parent/teacher conferences are next week. I have a student that I just can't figure out. I feel inadequate as a parent. Charlie goes and asks me a "God" question that i am not quite sure how to answer. I feel inadequate as a faculty member. We played this silly "what kind of learner" game at the faculty meeting this week. I misread the directions and ended up being perfectly matched interpersonal and intrapersonal. (How can you be both?) And then I was insecure b/c half of our staff was mathematical and I was the only staff that was in a "category" all by myself. How much more of a loser could I be? And then we go to the Ice Cream Social at my school. Where I feel left out even though I talked to many people there. And in all this I watched my daughter. I saw her mopey. She knew a few people there but they were not playing exclusively with her. They were playing/dancing with lots of people and then I thought is that why I feel left out? Is it because I am friends with a lot of people and not just a few? And then I wonder what is wrong with me that "feel" a part of the group even though I know that I am. And then I laugh at myself and say well, I guess intrapersonal was very on point for me. Even though I have to laugh at Howard Gardner's definition: our cognitive ability to understand and sense our "self." Intrapersonal intelligence allows us to tap into our being - who we are, what feelings we have, and why we are this way. A strong intrapersonal intelligence can lead to self-esteem, self-enhancement, and a strength of character that can be used to solve internal problems. Intrapersonal intelligence often is not recognized from the outside unless it is conveyed in some form, whether it be intangible as rage or joy, or tangible as a poem or a painting." I hope that she does not inherit my wall flower trait. And here is the funny thing to all this. I am telling Dusty of my insecurities and he says...you are always this way in February because of your parent teacher conferences. Relax, it's what makes you good at your job. I would worry if you didn't get a little nutty in February. So it must be the stress of conferences next week that is making me "intrapersoal" and not just me being a little "nutty."