God's provision

I am amazed on a daily basis how God prepares us for things before we realize we are being prepared. It has been an amazing week. I don't know if you are familiar with the Awana program but it has changed my life on more than one occasion now. I was saved through this program. Okay so back to God's provision. I am in a bible study this term with an amazing lady. I am always "upset" that I never get out of bible studies what everyone else gets. The same goes for the sermon's on Sunday. But, God always uses these things to show me something. This time is no different. It all began over two years ago. I had this feeling that I wanted to read my bible cover to cover. Sounds silly. I have read pieces of the bible but never the whole bible. I know that it will take me closer to five years than 1 or 2. But I resisted. I don't know enough to read my bible. I never get what everyone else gets. I met with an amazing lady and asked her how she studied. She is an incredible blessing to me and I am saddened that I no longer see her b/c I have moved to a different Community Group. After that I began reading my bible. I am still in Genesis but I am plugging right along. As I am reading I am feeling that God is calling me to something. (I still don't know what this is. For over a year now I have felt like he has something for me. That he is preparing me for something so I am faithfully praying and trying to be patient.) So the next step, I "complain" God I just don't know how to read the bible. And he leads me to a study of Ruth that teaches me how to study the bible. It's funny really. Most everyone I know reads Ruth and gets loyalty, faithfulness. I get that I need to be a blessing to others. Then I do a study in the spring called Crazy Love with the pastor of my church. The entire time I am feeling that God has some "mission" for me. I keep praying for clarity and patience. I really wish I knew what it was. I still don't. Fall comes and it is time to choose what I am going to do on Wednesday nights. I feel like I need to be in Awanas. I feel like I need to be with 9 year old girls. But I am afraid. I don't know enough about Jesus to lead these young women to the Lord. And, yet I feel like I REALLY need to do a study. "God I just don't know what study I want to do. I just don't know if I am up for anything." And he leads me again to take a study under Mrs. Jordan. We are doing a study of 1 Peter. Now, lets take a detour for a minute. This last Sunday in community group Mr. Entz told of a parable..The parable of the 18th camel. It was a precursor to a study on spiritual gifts. He said to each of us in the room that we are the 18th camel. We may not do something that is noticed while there but we are essential to the workings of the church. Hum, me an 18th camel. I never thought of it that way. But, maybe he is right. I thought on this for a few days. I am still trying to figure out what "ministry" God has for me. I am not a great bible teacher. I am not great at scripture memory. I am not great at missions or evangelism. I don't feel great at a lot of things. But someone said something in that meeting that I have thought about. "Just because your spiritual gift is not this does not mean that at some point in your life God will not lead you to use that gift. And then, the next thing happened. I am sitting in the living room working on my study reading 1 Peter 2. I read 1 Peter 2:9 "but you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out darkness into his wonderful light. "

And I get.. That I am chose, that I am in the priesthood, that my declaring praises of God will lead others out of the darkness and into His light. Not my declaring but God being praised.

And I wonder, what does it mean that I am a royal priesthood?

^{So I look up the cross references for this verse and I read:}

²² For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own. 1 Samuel 12:22

⁶ you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.' These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites." exodus 19:6

For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. Deuteronomy 7:6

¹⁸to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.' Acts 26:18

And I am sitting pondering what this means and how it fits my life. Charlie walks in. It is 10 o'clock. And she says, "Mommy, my Sparks CD says that if I want to know how to get to heaven I have to ask my parents. So, Mommy, how do I get to heaven?" How can I send her back to bed after that?

And every inadequacy comes rushing to me. I can't do this. I don't know what to say. She is so young. How can this possibly be right? And I hear Mr. Entz say that sometime the 18th camel is someone just sitting next to you. And I hear 1 peter 2:9 that I am chosen, a holy priesthood." I take a deep breath and pray on the way to Charlie's room that God would put the right words into my mouth.

I pull Charlie into my arms and we begin our conversation.

Charlie what does God say you are?

I am a special gift from God and I am a sinner.

What does it mean to be a sinner?

It means that I make bad choices without Jesus's help, like disobeying and hitting my brother and being mean to him.

Why are you a sinner?

Well Mom you know the story of Adam and Eve. Well, they ate this apple and they disobeyed God and because they disobeyed God. We all sin. We have bee stings and bug bites. We are tired and hungry. We get sick and we die. They disobeyed God and they couldn't be with them in the Garden anymore.

Who is a sinner?

Everyone. You and me and everyone.

Who was the only perfect person? The only person who never sinned?

That's easy. It was Jesus.

Why did Jesus come to EArth?

He came to die on the cross for my sins.

What does that mean?

He died so I could be with God and Jesus in heaven.

But, lots of people died on the cross. What makes Jesus so different?

He is God's son. Oh, and he raised again on the third day.

But how do you get to heaven?

I believe in God and Jesus just like the bible says "For God so loved the world that he sent his only son Jesus that who ever believes in him will not die but have eternal life." Right mom?

So I panic. She seems to have the right answers. But how can this be true? She is so young. I know that she has to pray to accept Christ into her heart. But, I can't remember that prayer.

Dear Jesus,

I am a sinner. I know that you sent your son Jesus to die on the cross. I believe that he rose on the third day. Please forgive me of my sins. I ask that you come into my heart and save me. Thank you Jesus. Amen (She adds "God I love you so much.")

She says "amen, I love you mommy, thank you for telling me how to get to heaven. Good night." She rolls over and goes to sleep.

And, me...I deal with every emotion. I still think she is too young. I don't know if I did it right (I know that it is all Jesus but still.)

So tonight I ask her, how do you get to heaven.

By following God's way

How do you follow God's way?

By following Jesus and God, by doing the right thing, by following the authority that God gives us like obeying our parents. God's way is Jesus. Read the bible.

I don't know, but at least she is on the right track.